1. Who puts Norman Mailer or John Updike on a to-read list when trying to finish nine more books before the end of the year? Ahem, not me. At least, not anymore.
2. As of today, I'm officially unemployed, so don't send me any more e-mails full of admiration. I can read a lot now because I have the time.
3. As of today, I'm officially unemployed, so if you know of a job digging ditches, please e-mail me.
4. I read a third of Paul Auster's book before I threw it across the room. The first lesson in writing is to make the mundane interesting. A step by step interpretation of a man's day - including how many poops plopped in the toilet - is a deep, dull hell. But I won't count it as a book read, just a book thrown.
5. E-mail fun:
"My friend is the one who keeps emailing you about our bet. I just want you to know that the bet against you was her idea not mine. I hope you meet your deadline."
"Couldn't get laid?"
"YOU, THE QUEEN OF READING AND GENERAL CREATIVITY, WEREN'T AP MATERIAL? If that's true, then AP is stupid. And I should know, since I teach AP. From the self-appointed President of the Canadian wing of your fanclub."
"What's your final book?" "Read (insert title) for your last book." "Will you read my book for your last book?" "I'm sending you (insert title) so you can read it for the last book in your journey."
"Yawn. Read something good."
"How are you going to top this in 2007?"